Self Love

I, like most people reading this blog I imagine, can not remember a time that I have been okay with my body. I'm sure I was at some point- probably before I ventured outside of my house and came into contact with other people my age- but in the years that I can remember, I have constantly been battling my body and my body image. It's so hard to live in this age where appearance rules all that we do, and people talk about making sure you look good for everything from first dates to job interviews to going to trial! It's ridiculous how much weight we put on our appearances and our bodies- and even more ridiculous how we begin to become aware of these things at such a young age.

Over the past month, however, I have been working on a little thing called self love. It's hard, and there isn't really a formula for it, but basically I have just been reminding myself that I am 100% worthy of love, respect, and space no matter what I look like.

I've found a lot of hope during this time in the story of David in the Old Testament. For those of you that haven't studied the bible or don't remember the story, I'll give a little sparknotes version: Basically, God rejected the old king of Israel cause he was super bad news, leaving the nation leader-less. God then sends his good old newly-chosen prophet Samuel to find the new King at this dude named Jesse's house. Jesse's got a bunch of sons, most of them pretty big and cool and king-ly, but there was one named David that he didn't even bother to tell to show up because he definitely didn't think he would be king since he didn't look like he would be one. Turns out- David was meant to be king of Israel (and one of the best kings in the bible even!). It's from this story that we get this awesome verse:

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV)

This verse has been absolutely instrumental to me starting to shape my body image. God doesn't care if I'm 100 pounds or 500 pounds, doesn't care if my hair is shiny and soft or frizzy and tangled. God looks at more important things than that, and that's what I should be looking at too. Instead of fixating on my rolls and lumps, I should be focusing on my heart and attitude and the way I treat those around me. Those things are worthy of reflection, not the body that I happen to have.

xx Mattie

PS: For my poem that I wrote on this topic, check out this post on my poetry blog! Blessings!

God is Good? All the time.

First things first: I'm employed! As stated in my last post, I went to a job interview last week and I happened to be hired right on the spot! Rejoicing in the Lord for that, because I desperately need the money and the resume boost, to be completely frank. I have a little more information on the position, as well! I will be working with kids ages 9-17 while they attend what we're calling 'kid's college' over the summer. It's only a month long, from June 23 to July 18, and I will only be working for half the day, but it pays well and I get to hang out with kids and teach them some cool, useful stuff for the whole month. Totally awesome! What I love about jobs like this is the connection you make with the kids, and I'm super stoked to have my group and become their mentor (which, by the way, is my official job title) for the summer. It's super rad, too, because this is the first year they're doing this program here in California, so we're totally the beta version. This means I'm going to have a lot of input on the way this is ran and be able, hopefully, to weigh in on the various kinks we run into. I'm seriously so excited for this job, there is no other way to describe it.

Secondly, I've just been overwhelmed with God's grace and goodness recently. Ever have those times where you just are completely in awe of how awesome the God we serve is? That has totally been me this past week! I'm stoked on life because of it. God has brought me into a better relationship with both Him and myself and I am so grateful for his sovereignty and control over my life.

Well, that's the update. Until next time!